I know what you’re thinking just reading the post title, gentle reader: That sounds like something that would be on the menu at Chili’s. Well, fine, maybe it would—but at least I’m not killing your buzz by printing the calorie count on a menu, okay?
This weeknight meal (about 30 minutes start to finish; could easily be prepped in advance and reheated covered in foil) was inspired by my lack of motivation to go to the grocery store. In the fridge, I had a 4-pack of Goya chorizo, a 4-oz. can of mild diced green chiles, an 8-oz. package of cream cheese, a block of jalapeno jack, and the last gasp of a bunch of cilantro. In my cupboard, I had some lasagna noodles—which was a small miracle considering that last week I nearly had to be escorted out of the Key Foods after I pointed out to the woman ringing up my groceries that the packages were on sale two-for-one, which she summarily denied, and after I stormed into the pasta aisle and returned with the sale card, she looked at it and goes, “No, it’s not two for one. It says buy one, get one free.” I SWEAR TO GOD, gentle reader. I was like, HOLD MY EARRINGS.
Anyhoo. Although I was in no mood to return to said Key Foods, the two aforementioned cheeses were clearly not adequate for a lasagna, so I got a half pound of sliced cheddar at the Brooklyn Sub on Bergen just off Washington (next to the liquor store where you play a decidedly less titillating variant of Spin the Bottle by putting your purchase into the bulletproof-glass Lazy Susan). Gentle reader, I highly recommend Brooklyn Sub as a place to purchase your deli meats and cheeses. It has a great selection; the staff is super nice; and it is where I first learned of the existence of chipotle Gouda, so it has a special place in my heart—and also, the guy with the ponytail is the most dextrous deli slicer ever, so do not be put off by his ponytail, because he is a true professional, and none of that hair is going to end up in your food, trust.
Anyhoo x2. I got half a pound of sliced cheddar. Okay, now here’s the actual recipe...
- Preheat your oven to 350°
- Butter an 8- or 9-inch baking dish
- Boil and drain a little over half a 16-oz. package of lasagna noodles
- Layer the noodles in the dish, alternating with a mix of sliced browned chorizo (I snip an edge of each sausage and peel off the paper-like skin), canned and drained green chiles, and coin-sliced zucchini, dotted with dabs of cream cheese and scattered with chopped cilantro on at least one layer
- Cover each layer with a blanket of sliced cheddar slices
- Top layer: Cover with shredded jalapeno jack
- Bake until said top layer of cheese is a little browned (not too browned, because then the innards will be dried out)
- Remove from oven and allow to rest for long enough to Instagram a photo
- Cut into wedges and serve
I served this with a simple salad of iceberg lettuce, tomato, and red onion, tossed in fresh-squeezed lime juice and, okay, a wee bit of mayonnaise—because in my house, there are no menus with calorie counts.
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